Tuesday, June 7, 2016

How i survive my life--Indonesia

Okay. just for intro, my name is ken. not my name but just called me like that. i was born at indonesia--samarinda. I have a really lovely family at my hometown. I have a friend that help me so much at many situation. and now, i moved to surabaya to study more. Like, samarinda is in borneo, and surabaya is in Java. Thats why parents put me here, at surabaya. 

Lets move to the point. 

I lived with my aunt. She is my dad's sister. at a moment, my live is normal, then i got bullied at my new school. such as, their yelling at me, copying my voice, copying my word and the worst is, one of my classmate throw some food into me. I almost can't handle it. I told my mom and she just say i need to be patient. one day, they will forget about anything i did, and accept me like the other student. Then, about 2/3 month later, they can accept me as a student. Just about a month, some problem come and make me frustrated until now. My new house.

as long as i live here, anything is normal. but then, something is happening and its really disturbing me. Well, we all are human and need food. But the food at here was freaking bad. They keep saving a food until 3 days. (Some of you might be thinking that saving for 3 days is okay. But. they keep saving it but no one eat it. weird huh?). Then i decided to not eat them until midnight--until now. I can't accept this anymore. But, there is one day, that i decided to eat, but, THE HOLE FOOD STILL COMPLETE. AND THEY DECIDED TO EAT AT OUTSIDE--WHICH MEAN...the food isn't delicious. They made so so so so many food. but no one eat it. Why? why i must the only one who need to eat it. Even--i'm sorry--Their daughter said, nothing is on the table while the food still there. I was like, why this is happening.

One day, i tired to not eating with them. Then accidentally, when i want to go to the bathroom, my aunt said to her husband. "Is ken fasting? HAHAHA." And they keep talking about me at that night. i was like, why this is happening to me? I can't even go cause i heard about it. Then. TODAY. I ALSO ACCIDENTALLY HEARD THAT THEY (ALMOST) TALKING ABOUT ME. First is about their daughter. they said, their daughter is okay if she didn't eat, then when i came, they was like "Ken. Where do you want to go?" THEY CHANGE THEIR TOPIC. LIKE WTF? You think i can't hear huh? 

Another problem is, they said i reallly not respect with them. cause, Every time i go home from school, i didn't talk with them. The first time i go out and come home and said "Aunty, i'm home." she just like, "huh?" SO I DECIDED TO NOT TALKING WITH HER. but she didn't remember it. Then, (gosh. there are still many of my prob that can't be solve that easy.) one day, i really had a bad bad bad terrible worst day. So i decided to sit and thinking. What if, i suicide? No body care about me. My parent, and i don't have a friend. My dad can't do much cause, my aunt is older than my dad. i was thinking all night to think about it again. At that time, i was scared to ask my mom, how if i suicide. I really scared and at midnight, i ask my mom, at that time, she reply and i cry. I was crying a lot. She keep telling me if i suicide, i must know the consequent. 

After i try to keep calm, the other problem come. if i can't eat, how can i survive? I can't cook by my own cause, the kitchen was own by my aunt. And if i cook at there, she will ask why i JUST don't eat food at the table. If i, said that the food wasn't delicious, that means, i killing my self. And, (btw, i clean my clothes alone) if i need to wash everything by my hand, by my self, THEN why i'm not live at an apartment? 

I really hate this kind of home. No one live here. I can't feel any family. Sometimes, i really jealous, with some student who can bring some food from home. But i can't. My aunt can't cook that well. And the food wasn't delicious at all. GOD!!! i can't handle this. 

-X

-thanks for give your time to read this fucking story. I know my story kinda mess with the language, but enjoy it.

--Makasih buat udah baca cerita busuk ini. Gue tau cara gue sampaikan pake bahasa inggris--Biar sok gahol gitu--Dan ini cerita gue, cerita bagaimana gue bisa hadapin kehidupan gue yang 'gelap'

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